I'm to beat to go out
I'm staying home tonight
but this home is no home
and its eating up my brains
in the emptiness that follows
too many thoughts remain
the darkness can be blinding
in the brightest sun
too many scars reminding
of the times I've come undone

someone is in the stereo
singing songs of love and hate
something's crawling in my brain
killing of both trust and faith

I sit here with the records
and the music someone else wrote
my mouth is forming the words
I know will come up next
a song with no sound
like a stray in the dog-pound
I'm waiting to be put down

I'm just staying home tonight..

I don't think you're cool enough
but I will hang out with you if you speak in rhymes

been living of caffeine and nicotine
struggling to decide
should I imitate art
or should I imitate life
trying hard to socializa
but people are just apes
in drag disguise

today I'm sitting in the sun
drinking wine left over from when my sister
tried to impress a danish girl

it's a good day

I'm not nice enough to end up last.

# ?

you think being alone
is for the strong minded
you are lonely
you think that makes you strong.

your rebellion
against her childish refuse to convert
is that of a three-yr-old
refusing to eat the fruits
put out on the table
to be shoved down our throats

we are blessed
the gods we invented had told us so
but the hell we created for others
is at out front door

it brings three gifts
of hate,
doubt,
and time off
in a closed psychiatric facility

you are blessed.
you are strong.
you are alone.

ugliness

it was so ugly
how you left yesterday
you had to go out of town
on a crusade, a search
for your own amusement
as ugly as my half-arsed
anger, and not so original
love of self-rightiousness.
am I a woman now?
have I excelled at the strategy
of the silence treatment
am I yr woman now?
have I earnt the gift
of commoness
that will declare me queen
of the microwaves owens
and dirty dishes..
am I ugly now?