Do you know how ugly I am?

It's the kind of ugliness

which can't be cured

by botox

by implants

suck-this-out insert-this-here

surgery

If you could see how ugly I am

you'd point you finger at me at the mall

and stand there with you mouth open

If you knew

how child-scaring

freak show

ugly

I am

I love my ugliness

I cuddle up with it on dark nights

I paint the canvas with it my ugliness

mix it with in ink

to scrawl poetry

on starbuck napkins

because my ugliness is my muse

this skin you see is not mine

it's a thin coat of mix-it-yourself plaster

carefully painted over

my beautiful

ugliness

I am the hungry hunted kind

I walk a hundred miles

to fall into your trap

I wish my heart didn't beat quite so fast
perhaps a nice slow waltz
and not this electro-techno-act

I wish my fingers didn't shake
I wish the sedative would take
maybe some more tranquilizers
or a freelancing hypnotizer

just bring the silence back again