everyday life and another fight

I guess the rain is back again,
though I really tried to see the sun.
I don't know how to live, at work
at night, I can't stand my everyday life
so I picked a fight last night
just to prove I love you
we try so hard to fight through
but all the mud and all the rain
it's like quicksand in my brain
I can't get up, keep
being pulled deeper in
into my own mind
I need you to give me a hand
but I'm too tired to scream out
and all the pain, it just
turns to bitterness, and rage
keep thinking of myself at 15
the world couldn't hold my rage
you say I've come a long way
sure feels like I've walked a thousand miles
I just want to lay down,
have some peace of mind
I must have laid in a thousand beds
by now I should have it made
and after a thousand fights
by now I should have me licked
but every day is just
a darker shade of gray
so with this bitter taste in my mind
I pick another fight
are you feeling loved now?